Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
