I'm gonna have a badass scar
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
