As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
