Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
