i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
