If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
