you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
