guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
