yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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