O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
im on a boat
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