So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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