i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
