Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
