That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
