Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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