Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need to align my fucking chakras
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
