I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
