): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
