Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
