Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
