I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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