its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
