I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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