Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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