I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
