he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
