I'm going to jail i love you
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize