I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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