Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
