is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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