nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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