Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
