One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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