Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think my moral compass just broke
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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