I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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