I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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