I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
