yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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