New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
