yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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