So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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