No subtext here. People are naked.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That accounts for only three of the penises
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
