Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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