I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Bring me that man meat
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have post one night stand depression
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
