My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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