Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
