Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
