I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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