Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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