Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
