I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize