If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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