Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
