question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
