Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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