how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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