It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
