I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
